Fear of Missing Out & Only If Mindset

In today’s world I think most of us suffer from the fear of missing out and the only if mindset.  We want to see, do, be as many things in life as possible and we often live for the future …if only I could have that car, that house, that degree, that job, that partner…then life would be perfect!  We forget to take pride in who we are and where we are in this very moment.  We are so focused on the next big adventure or the thing of the future that we ignore all the good right in front of us.  I am a planner so I often find myself struggling with both of these.  I get my heart set on a goal and keep my eye on the prize and this helps motivate me when times get tough.  However, I have come to realize, as with all things, there must be a balance.

It is great to make plans and have goals to learn and experience new things.  It is wonderful to put dreams out into the universe for a better lifestyle, nicer things, and fantastic relationships, just don’t let these wants and desires for the future take over the present moments.  Take time to truly enjoy where you are and reflect on how far you have come.  Remind yourself that there was a time when you may have prayed to be where you are right now and have some of the things you have right now.  Take time to celebrate those wins you have already accomplished along the way before moving on to the next big thing.  The constant drive for more can be unhealthy and end up leading you in a life of never being satisfied or happy.

So take time today to slow down and appreciate the present moment.  Look at your life and think about how far you have come and truly appreciate your efforts and hard work.  We must be thankful for what we have now and give thanks regularly in order to receive all that we desire in the future.  Taking time to give thanks in your daily practice of meditation or just as you get ready to start your day is a great positive habit. Spare nothing in your time of giving thanks, running water and indoor plumbing as I shower and get ready, my body functioning properly as I climb out of bed and stretch, my healthy teeth as I brush them…include every detail of life in your list! Truly feel it in your heart as you give thanks, don’t just run through it like a grocery list.  I am thankful for all of you who read my blog!

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

 

Never Enough

Has the words “never enough” played through your mind before?  Do you constantly find things about yourself or your life that you want to improve upon?  At what point does a healthy drive for self-improvement turn in to something defeating and negative?  I am a weird mix of a dreamer and a doer so even though I pursue bigger goals for myself constantly, I also find myself dreaming about the what-ifs.  I love my job, but also go to school full time trying to complete my degree so I can pursue a bigger career goal.  I love my home, but I am constantly painting, remodeling and landscaping to make it my dream home.  I am a pretty healthy individual, but I know I can always do better and lose just a few more pounds….and the list goes on.  Are we all on a hamster wheel of betterment?  If I just stopped all my pursuits, sold all my stuff and lived in a little hut close to the beach and waited tables at a local diner for the rest of my life, would I be a failure?  Would I regret it? Or would I be happier?  When is it enough?

Is it crazy to think that we are all just one choice away from completely changing our entire lives?  My daughter is graduating high school next month and goes off to college, she has a job and her own car and a boyfriend.  Her life stays busy with friends and work and school.  When I divorced I stayed in the small town I currently live in because I wanted my daughter to have a relationship with her Dad.  Even though I dreamed of moving to another state and starting over.  Now that my daughter is ready to spread her wings and fly I find myself at a point where I could actually consider moving.  However, with the passing years in this small town changes have occurred, I bought a home, went back to school, made lots of friends, met a wonderful man and the idea of moving and starting over isn’t as appealing anymore.  I have started this new path and things seem to be falling in place fairly well, but sometimes I still dream of escaping to that small place near the beach with a lot less responsibility.

So where does our need to be great come from?  Are we trying to keep up with the Jones’s so to speak?  Are we trying to make someone proud or make a bunch of money so we can have the nice car, big house and take extravagant vacations every year?  Do we just work-out and lose the weight so we can look hot in our summer beach pictures and get the compliments on social media?  How much of what we are working for is really for us?  How much of it is really what we value in life?  When is it enough?

When I feel overwhelmed from constantly pushing for a better future I make myself stop and reflect.  If I don’t slow down sometimes I feel the possibility of burn-out coming.  I evaluate what I have in my life and take time to be thankful for where I am, what I have, and who I have become.  Once I have taken the time to be thankful, I fully accept it and all the good and bad that comes with it.  Maybe you have a long way to go to get where you want to be but accepting it and knowing that you are trying is the key.  With acceptance comes relief of being able to let go of the need to push for more.  Just stop and take a moment to fully embrace where you are in this very moment in life and know that it will change.  How it changes is up to you, don’t push too hard, don’t force it, just allow yourself to embrace the moment and actually enjoy the process.  If there is no joy in the process maybe you should let it go.

At the end of each day make peace with yourself in knowing that you put out effort, maybe not as much as the day before and maybe more, but that doesn’t matter because the world is constantly changing and tomorrow is a new day.  Be thankful for each day you have and don’t waste it by constantly focusing on the future.  Stop and take a breath, become fully present and enjoy the moment you have right in front of you and know that right now, in this moment, you are enough.

With love, happiness, health and knowing you are enough…

Stacy

The Five to Thrive

I have recently completed Girl Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis.  If you haven’t read Girl Wash Your Face or Girl Stop Apologizing, you should.  She is a real woman just telling it like it is and baring it all.  She is not only easy to relate to, but raw and funny.  With all of that being said, she also gives some great tips on how to be a better version of yourself along with proving by her success that she has applied them to her own life.  I have always applied these five things in my life, but never considered or seen them grouped together as a sort of mantra for life.  Once I did I was hooked on the concept.  These five rules are great for everyone, especially those of you who are just dipping your toe into the idea of where in the world to start on the path to self improvement.

The five rules include, getting up an hour earlier than you normally do and use that time for yourself, workout at least 30 minutes a day, drink half your body weight in ounces of water each day, give up one food category you know you shouldn’t be eating, and finally, write down 10 things that you are grateful for each day.  I have been practicing this list for a while and steadily adding to it with other ideas that help me keep my life better organized, healthy and productive.

When it comes to getting up an hour earlier, this one was the biggest struggle, but also the holy grail to everything else in my life.  I am able to get so much stuff done before I even sit down at my desk at work by accomplishing this one rule.  I get up and go at 5 a.m. and I use another rule from another great book, The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins, to make this happen each day.  I also have an incredible morning routine programmed into my mind and body so I don’t allow myself to think about any other options (like staying in my warm, cozy bed another 30 minutes).  I jump up, wash my face, and put on my workout clothes and grab my gym bag.  I make myself a warm travel mug of lemon water and grab a bottle of water for after my workout.   I always listen an audio book on my drive to the gym.  This is when rule number two comes in to play.

I do a 30 minute workout and then I get changed and ready for my work day.  I always arrive early to work and usually I allow myself one cup of coffee while I finish my water from my workout and I usually have a granola bar and a piece of fruit for breakfast.  I get the office opened up and ready for the day and then I sit at my desk before anyone else arrives and I write, check emails and social media.  Once that is complete I start my work for the day.  When lunch time rolls around I have usually already had about half of the recommended water required to meet half my body weight.  When it comes to lunch, sometimes I bring my lunch to work and sometimes I have lunch with friends and coworkers or just grab something and go sit at the park and read.  The food groups I have removed from my diet include any and all sweets and soda’s.  I do my best to make my meals primarily veggies, fruits and a lean protein, I love fish!

On my way home from work I listen to my audio book or sometimes some music to motivate me if I have a lot I want to get done when I get home.  It is about a 30-45 minute drive for me and I hate not being productive while driving.  Once I arrive home I usually tackle everything I need to do to prepare for the next morning, laundry, making my lunch, getting my gym bag packed, then I eat dinner, shower, skin care and take time to review my calendar for the next day so I have mental game plan.  Then I crawl onto the center of my bed and take the time to be thankful, pray and meditate.  On Friday nights, if I am not making it a date night, I usually tackle some kind of household project.  This week it is my personal walk-in closet.  I usually start a project on a Friday evening while am watching one of my favorite Netflix shows and I try my best to finish the project before noon Saturday.  Lately I have been helping my significant other at his restaurant on Saturday nights and I value my Sundays as a day of rest, relaxation and time with those I love.

Building these routines and habits into my life has brought me a sense of comfort, confidence and happiness.  I love feeling organized, efficient, productive, and healthy and I have found a way to work all of the things that are most important to me into my daily life.  What habits or routines do you value in your life?

With love, health and happiness,

Stacy

Time

The world around us seems to be consumed with time.  Every day we are all on a schedule from what time we get up, eat, go to work, get off work, and sleep again.  This process day after day can eventually make us feel like we are all just a bunch of hamsters on a wheel.  We think of the past and may have thoughts of guilt, shame or hurt, and we carry those negative thoughts and feelings with us.  We think of the future and we may constantly be working towards a future goal of a better job, nicer home, a new car, a great relationship, or more money in the bank.  When we tend to be consumed with thoughts of the past or goals for the future we rush through the only thing that is really important…the present moment.

Time is just an illusion and a tool to help us through our day to day lives; it is not meant to be the controlling or key factor that our lives revolve around.  We should not fear time or race against time or wish for more time but instead simply embrace the now.  So how can you move your thought process more into the present?  How can we practice becoming more conscious and appreciative of where we are right now instead of worrying about the past or the future?  Well I will list my top five practices that can help you get started and lead you to a life that is free from the worry associated with time.

Meditation:  Many people I know struggle to be alone and would really struggle with the idea of spending time alone and quiet with themselves.  However, one of the best ways to really learn about yourself and the world around you is to learn to be alone and get silent.  Quiet time for prayer and meditation is one of the most important tools to bring a person into the present moment fully.  Being able to sit comfortably in your home, with no distractions like TV or radio, and just take in the feelings within your body.  Breath deep in and out a few times and just listen to the sounds around you, smell the room, be aware of how your body feels, do you feel stress or tension in some areas of your body?  As you sit and allow yourself to be fully aware of that moment you can choose to focus on something certain that you desire or you can just enjoy the practice of being fully in the now.  You do not have to be home alone in order to do this process.  I have instructed my daughter to use this tool anywhere, especially when she is having a day where she is feeling overwhelmed or anxious.  At your desk you can just take a moment to stop and take in the sounds, sights and smells of the room around you and ask yourself how you are feeling right in that moment.  Doing this a few times a day is like hitting the reset button and simply brings you back to yourself, pulling you away from worries about the past or what you need to do for the future.  Just focus on what you can do right now.

Finding Joy in Solitude:  Bringing yourself into the present and become more conscious and self aware while finding something you enjoy and doing it alone.  Solitude is key in the process of knowing thy self.  If you like to write, paint, go hiking, do yoga, sing….whatever it is that you really enjoy; practice doing it alone and be fully in the moment with no distractions.  Pay attention to how your body feels and the sights and smells and what you hear just like you would when you are meditating.  I know people who love to read and take time each morning to read from the bible and then they meditate on the scripture before they start each day.  This combines the enjoyment of reading Gods word with the power of meditation and prayer and can be a very positive and powerful way to start the day.

A Motto or Mantra for Your Life:  Sometimes we can get so busy and lives get chaotic with work, kids, friends, family and life that we lose track of what our personal goals are in life.  It is good to stop and refocus and re-evaluate life every now and then.  It is easy to refocus when you have a mantra that you repeat to yourself that is easy to remember.  When I feel chaos in my life and things are getting too hard I remind myself of my mantras, ‘money comes easily and often’ and ‘love starts within’.  These two mantras were created because I struggle with remembering that money is not elusive and hard to come by like I was taught by my parents.  The second one is to remind me that what I think about myself will set the tone for how another see and treat me.  When struggling financially or feeling insecure in a relationship the negative thinking can creep in and that is when it is good to refocus and repeat your mantras.  Bad experiences or negative thought patterns from our past can creep into our lives now and cause problems that do not apply to the now, use mantras as a tool to remind yourself that you have learned from the past and will be better now. Repeating your mantras can be a nice focus tool during meditation as well.

Feed the Body & Rest the Soul:  Now we get into a little deeper idea for the now that will affect your body inside and out. There are two things we do everyday, or we should, and that is eat and sleep.  These are two of the most important things we will do in our lives and they will affect us on many levels.  When, where, what, how and with whom you choose to do them is very important.  Eat when you are hungry and only until you are satisfied, do not over-indulge.  Choose food that will nourish your body and make sure you give thanks for the food and the nourishment the food will provide for your body.  Focus on how the food will affect your body in a positive way.  If you believe the food will not affect your body in a positive way then you will be right and that is where negative effects like weight gain will occur.  Do not rush through meals, do not stand or drive while eating meals, do not watch TV while eating.  Give your meal the respect it deserves because you are what you eat.  Do not eat a meal with someone who causes you negative feelings about yourself or life in general.  Negativity while eating will lead to disease in the body and possible overeating or nervous stomach.  Eating in a positive and loving environment with family and friends and saying grace before and thank you after a meal is enjoyed is the best and most healthy way to eat.  The same with sleep, do not allow yourself to sleep too much or too little because both can cause health issues.  If you find you are tired all the time you need to ask yourself why, could there be signs of depression or other health issues are you not giving yourself a heathy amount of sleep?  Give yourself a peaceful and comfortable place to sleep each night with no distractions of electronics.  Make sure if you have a sleeping partner that you share a moment of appreciation and love with that person before you go to bed each night.  I think most of us have heard the wise words, never go to bed mad at one another, and those are very wise words to live by.  Being completely focused on your body and the food when eating and completely focused on your body and the peaceful and positive mantras you have set for yourself as you go to sleep each night can be life changing for your mind and health.

Give Thanks & Show Gratitude:  The most important tool for keeping yourself in the now and fully conscious is to be thankful.  Be thankful for who you are, where you are in life, what you have right now and who you have in your life.  To be truly grateful in life right in the moment is a great way to bring more greatness into your life.  If we are overly focused on what we don’t have or what we want in the future without ever acknowledging all the wonderful things we are blessed with in the present moment, then we will continue to struggle for the elusive thing we call happiness.  To be truly happy is to be content with exactly who we are and what we have and where we are in this very moment.

These basic tools are the foundation of a happy and healthy life that will help you practice each day to be in the now and lead to a happier, healthier peace within you. Always remember to choose love over hate.  Our actions, words, thoughts and beliefs reflect who we are and what we attract into our lives…keep it positive and from a place of love and respect and the world will bring more love and respect into your life.

Sincerely,

With love, health and happiness right now…

Stacy

The Power of Positive

I have been practicing the art of positive thinking in my life for many years now.  Whenever I feel negativity coming in to my thoughts I try to re-route myself to a more positive mind set.  Some days this is easier said than done.  I have made a conscious effort in a recent situation and even though I found myself confiding to a few friends and family I always tried to end my conversation about the situation on a positive note.  I would try and put myself in the other persons shoes and be more understanding and less confrontational.  This approach really seemed to pay off and my desires that I meditated upon are coming true for this particular situation.  This moment of truth was very needed for me.

I had begun to feel this sense of doubt in my methods.  Like maybe by always keeping my thoughts and opinions to myself and choosing to say nothing in return to the rude person in my life that I was allowing this person to walk on me.  I started to wonder if maybe it was possible that I was simply being too nice.  My efforts to be the bigger person and not let this person get to me was starting to weigh on me and I chose to just not put myself around them and just pray on the situation.  I knew that there were certain things that needed to happen in order for this situation to take a turn in my favor.  I ignored those fleeting doubtful thoughts and pushed on through with my positive attitude and it has started to turn the situation pretty quickly.  So quickly in fact that I not only started to feel more hopeful about this situation but I also received the confirmation that I needed to know that my process was working.

One of the main rules in the law of attraction is to focus on the things you want in life, not the things you don’t want.  It is easy to dwell on the extra weight you have gained or the extra debt but how often do you really focus on the good in your world?  Maybe you gained ten or fifteen extra pounds because you have been spending more time sitting down and eating with the family instead of always being on the run.  Maybe you have more debt from hospital bills for a procedure that saved a love ones life.  There is always a way to spin what seems like a negative in to a positive.  Once you are able to take a different perspective on each situation you will begin to become more appreciative for everything in life.  When we are thankful and focus on the positives the law of attraction will respond by giving us more of what we are thankful for and more of the positive that we focus on.

If you are struggling to find something in your life to be grateful about then go simple…be thankful for a roof over your head or clean water to drink.  Being more aware of your thoughts and catching yourself when your mind starts to drift to a negative place is a practice.  I have found that my ability to do this has become better with my meditation and yoga practices.  Sitting in silence in the morning focusing on my day and how I would like for it to go and beginning my day listing a few things that I am thankful for has completely changed my life.  Your mind will try to relive conversations or situations that have frustrated you and by reliving that frustration in your mind and going over what you wish you would have said or done differently you are only attracting more of those types of situations into your life.  Find the positive in those moments by learning from them and doing better in the future instead of reliving the past.

Yours in Happiness, Health and Positive Vibes,

Stacy