Fear

Everyone has moments in life that bring forth feelings of fear. I have experienced fear a lot in my life, especially in this last year. I felt fear when taking all my final exams for college, licensure, and certification. I felt fear when I started a relationship with a new man. I felt fear when I decided to leave my job and accept a new one in a new town. I felt fear when I put my house up for sale and moved in with the new man in life. I felt fear while trying to complete all my paperwork correctly for my PLPC and the supervision application. I have felt fear in the waiting for everything to move forward and fall into place because I am not the most patient person. It is hard to let life flow naturally and not push or force it. The fear causes me to want to rush things and just get to where I think I should be in order to feel stable, but the truth is, sometimes when we push things it just causes the time to move slower.

I know the universe knows what I want and the more I worry and doubt the more the resistance builds and the longer it takes. The struggle is rooted in the fear. So how do I let go of the fear? How do I trust that everything will move into place as it is suppose to? How do I let go of the worry and doubt and just enjoy life in the moment? It takes practice and self-awareness. When I start to feel frustrated or even panicky about things and the pressure seems to be building, I take a deep breath and repeat the mantra, everything is always working out for me. I take the time to meditate or write out a description of what life looks like for me after everything falls into place. I focus on how far I have come and give thanks for all the good in my life in this very moment.

It is easy to let your mind and body react to fear and if you just stay on auto pilot, the worry and doubts will take you down the rabbit hole. Then, before you know it, you are feelings anxious, depressed, and sick. Addressing fear starts with practicing good coping skills, self-awareness, and pulling yourself back into the present moment. Worry puts the focus on the past and the future, things we cannot change or things that have not even happened yet. Allow yourself to just focus on what you can do in the moment that pushes you closer to your goals and the type of person you ultimately want to be long term. Not a temporary fix or relief like drugs, alcohol, food, careless spending, random sexual encounters, gambling, or countless other escapes. Often these escapes feel good in the moment but only exacerbate the problem and take you further from your goals and the true self.

In what areas of your life is fear holding you back? Are you practicing good coping skills, self-awareness, and staying present or are you allowing yourself to go down the rabbit hole of worry and doubt? Take time to reflect on how you are feeling and what you can do to help yourself reduce the stress in life by attacking the fear through good practices. It is good to check in with yourself daily, mentally, emotionally, and physical and begin to keep notes on how you uniquely react to fear and stress because it can be very different for everyone. There are no cookie cutter symptoms. Once you become more aware, you can catch it earlier and begin a more preventative and maintenance protocol through the coping skills, self-awareness, and being present.

With love, happiness, health….

Stacy

Accomplishment

I have been working full time while completing grad school. During this process I have had many ups and downs and in January I will start the final year in my degree, take my state license, and start my supervision hours. I have many emotions about this next year but mostly I am just ready to complete the process and finally be fully licensed and practicing on my own. The education and licensure process to be a therapist is a long one but so worth it. I often find myself in the “hurry up and wait” limbo. I wish to be at some point in the future where I believe life will somehow be better or easier. When I think about it I realize I have done this many times in life and for different reasons. There are many good things in the works for the future that will come in time and it is important for all of us to remember to be more present. Basically, do not wish your life away. Enjoy each moment to the fullest and appreciate the process.

I am currently navigating my first long-distance relationship and he is in the Army. Around the time he is set to retire I will be finishing my supervision hours and become fully licensed. We didn’t plan it that way, but I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. We attract people, places, things, and situations in life and I think my positive focus on my hopes and dreams for the future have brought me to this point in life with purpose. In my relationship we both are working on self-growth in addition to our careers. This distance in our relationship has its good and bad aspects but at this point I would say mostly good. It allows me to more easily focus on my education and career while still making plans for my future. It forces the relationship to move slow and for us to get to know each other in every aspect and really communicate.

Instead of pushing for the big end game take time to appreciate the little accomplishments along the way. Yes, it is good to be goal oriented and re-evaluate to make sure you keep your eyes on the prize, but not so much so that you fail to notice all the beauty of the present moment. As we move into the Christmas season and the New Year take pause to reflect on everything you have been through, good and bad. Really focus on the accomplishments and appreciate the present, slow down, breath in the moment. Do not rush through the holidays or get distracted by the commercial and gift giving aspects of the season, really take time to appreciate who and where you are in this moment in life…in history…because there will be a day when you will wish you could do it all again.

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

Fear of Missing Out & Only If Mindset

In today’s world I think most of us suffer from the fear of missing out and the only if mindset.  We want to see, do, be as many things in life as possible and we often live for the future …if only I could have that car, that house, that degree, that job, that partner…then life would be perfect!  We forget to take pride in who we are and where we are in this very moment.  We are so focused on the next big adventure or the thing of the future that we ignore all the good right in front of us.  I am a planner so I often find myself struggling with both of these.  I get my heart set on a goal and keep my eye on the prize and this helps motivate me when times get tough.  However, I have come to realize, as with all things, there must be a balance.

It is great to make plans and have goals to learn and experience new things.  It is wonderful to put dreams out into the universe for a better lifestyle, nicer things, and fantastic relationships, just don’t let these wants and desires for the future take over the present moments.  Take time to truly enjoy where you are and reflect on how far you have come.  Remind yourself that there was a time when you may have prayed to be where you are right now and have some of the things you have right now.  Take time to celebrate those wins you have already accomplished along the way before moving on to the next big thing.  The constant drive for more can be unhealthy and end up leading you in a life of never being satisfied or happy.

So take time today to slow down and appreciate the present moment.  Look at your life and think about how far you have come and truly appreciate your efforts and hard work.  We must be thankful for what we have now and give thanks regularly in order to receive all that we desire in the future.  Taking time to give thanks in your daily practice of meditation or just as you get ready to start your day is a great positive habit. Spare nothing in your time of giving thanks, running water and indoor plumbing as I shower and get ready, my body functioning properly as I climb out of bed and stretch, my healthy teeth as I brush them…include every detail of life in your list! Truly feel it in your heart as you give thanks, don’t just run through it like a grocery list.  I am thankful for all of you who read my blog!

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy