Ask, then Believe

In life many of us have a little problem with the need to control situations, people, things…We get impatient and try to move things along and often this just manifests more doubt. See…in order to really have faith you have to be willing to ask and then let it go. Act as if it is done. Know in your heart, your mind, and your soul that if you are in alignment and this is something that is truly right for you, then it will be. The clearer you can feel it and see it the more quickly it will come. When you think about it don’t dwell on the what-ifs, the blocks, the doubts, the things that could go wrong or the worries of what the other person may be thinking. It really isn’t about anybody else. It is about you and how you feel in this very moment.

Think of something you really desire in life and write down the first 5 thoughts that honestly jump into your head. Are they positive or negative? If you have been wanting a happy relationship but you focus more on all the negatives in the dating process or in other people, and more quickly give reasons why you aren’t in a relationship than the reasons why you should be then maybe you need to refocus. How we think and feel in the moment we are asking will have the greatest impact on the outcome. When asking for your desire be in a happy place. Allow yourself to fully absorb into the idea of how you would feel having it. Every. Little. Detail. The more specific the better! Meditate on that thought every day, at least once a day if not more.

Be self-aware, if you are asked about it or having a bad day and things have just not manifested the way you want just yet don’t speak of the lack. Instead be prepared with a positive general response to others and yourself. Things are flowing right along and everything is right on track! What we speak and think about most is what will be. Keep it positive, keep the faith, and know that it is yours! Ask and believe, this is how we achieve! This is the key to manifesting!

With love, health, & happiness,

Stacy

Chance and Romance

Deep down I am finally admitting I am probably a hopeless romantic. I want to just randomly meet a guy and feel the instant connection and chemistry that starts with asking your name and then your number and moves through the normal process of getting to know each other over coffee, drinks, dinner, a road trip and eventually growing into something amazing. Does that only happen in the movies? I have had bits and pieces of that story unfold in my life. I have a lot of friends of all ages and walks of life who share with me their relationships and how they begin and end and the rules and boundaries they set within the relationship. It is amazing to me the number of non-traditional relationships out there, like wives being okay with husbands having a girlfriend or they both knowingly having relationships outside the marriage. I am not judging what works for others, if they are happy in that lifestyle more power to them, but it is not for me.

I still hold out for the real deal or nothing at all. I am not a half-ass kind of girl. I know myself well enough to know I am a one man woman and I want a one woman man. I want to be married again. I am done raising children. I am focused on my career path, personal growth, and finding a true partner to travel the world with occasionally or just stay in and watch TV and cook together. I love both adventure and stillness. I love to be at home and I love to try new things. I want it all but I want to share it. I have learned to live on my own. I have accomplished so much and feel stronger than I have ever felt as a woman but I do miss having a great guy by my side that gives me that warm deeply loved feeling of protection, strength, and support.

Lord knows I have dated and tried to be open minded. I have had long open discussions with many men and women, listened to audio books, read books, watched documentaries, YouTube, even read long, peer reviewed journal articles on the subject of men and women and my conclusion is…it all comes down to chance…timing and choice in that moment leads two people to a chance encounter that will either ignite into something fantastic, ignite but quickly fizzle, or never ignite at all. There is no specific magic, it is a combination of things that varies for each person. There are many factors that come into play when dating someone: chemical, physical, emotional, social, success and intelligence, humor, confidence. We determine what the person brings to the table and if we would like this person to even sit at our table.

At the beginning of this year I considered not dating at all. Then I allowed myself to give it a try as I finally started to heal from my heartbreak. This year has been very emotional and complicated so far but I am learning. What I have learned most is, I must be true to myself and I am worthy of all that I want so do not settle for less than. I don’t want to become jaded on the dating process. I still believe that it is necessary to take a chance and it is possible to find love and romance between two people, even in today’s world.

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

Be Patient

Many of us have to work hard to be patient in life. This is a world of instant gratification and long bucket lists of things people want to see, do, and have. Often, people go through dating a few people and may find a person they are with for a few years and then once that relationship ends they move on, and they still have expectations they cling to. This often happens when we are older and more clear on what we are looking for. It is important to remember that each new person is a whole new process and you must start from the very beginning. Just because you may have been further along in your mindset with the last person doesn’t mean you get to start at that point with the next person. You have to hit the reset button and not rush in to things. Rebounds and moving too soon can get people into complicated situations that are not only frustrating but can be hurtful. It takes time to really know a person authentically.

If you are separated but not divorced, or in the process of a divorce, or maybe you are just discussing divorce and unhappy in your relationship/marriage…please do the world a favor and finish that before you try to date. If you cannot fully be present with the person you are trying to date because of loose ends in another relationship then you are basically being selfish. It takes a strong individual to push aside their own wants and needs and do things right, but isn’t that the whole point? End the unhappiness you are currently in and realign so that you can do better. The point is to admit you are outgrowing the current relationship, learn from it, and resolve to move forward making wiser decisions.

I do believe you can have chemistry very quickly and a chemical reaction like lust can feel so strong that you lose logic. When someone is hurting from a recent break they long to find those things they have been missing. This can cause a person to latch on to aspects of a person without fully taking the time to know all of them. Sometimes it isn’t physical, it can be more of a mental connection that draws you in. The goal is to get to know every aspect of the person and this takes time and patience. Physical aspects of a relationship can happen fast leaving us to navigate deeper conversations later and that is not always a bad thing. If the physical chemistry is fantastic then you have something to build on. Obviously, sex isn’t everything but it is an important part of a healthy relationship.

Good relationships are built on a good foundation. It takes time to establish trust, support, respect, understanding, teamwork, friendship, and mutual goals with another person. You can’t jump in all willy-nilly judging someone from your own past or what you get at face value. You have to get to know them and their own story to fully understand if the potential for a future is there. Enjoy the process by having fun with the occasional calls, texts, dates, and other adventures and you will begin to see their true colors in a few months time, if not sooner! Patience is most definitely a virtue when it comes to dating!

With love, health, and happiness

Stacy