Live In The Moment

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I am a planner, an over-thinker, over-analyzer, philosophical, deep thoughts and conversations type of person with a love for lists, goal setting and processes.  I like to have a plan of action and know where I stand and what is expected of me.  This desire to have some degree of control in every situation causes me to worry more than I should about things that don’t really matter.  I often feel like I am pushing upstream instead of going with the flow when I get in these need to know and have control moments.  I know it is better if I just let go of the situation and allow myself to live in the moment.  Stop worrying about the what-ifs and trying to figure out the how and why of everything.  Stop trying to figure out what other people may be thinking or doing.  Just focus on the moment and myself in the moment.  Soak it all up and take it all in and understand that the real pleasures in life are the ones right in front of me.

Recently I went through a break-up and then we reconnected a couple of months later.  Since then we have been in this limbo, without any real conversation about what the heck we are doing.  The old me would be going crazy wanting to have a talk and figure everything out but something within me has shifted.  I don’t really have the desire to figure it all out anymore.  I am tired of trying to figure it all out.  I just want to be happy.  After the break-up I kept myself busy making plans to do things I love… hiking, kayaking, going for long walks, listening to live music and yoga classes.  I found myself enjoying work, school and time with friends and some much needed alone time, all in a nice balance.  As I found this balance and joy I felt my desire to control and over-think slowly start to fade.  I realized that my lack of alignment was creating this need to over-think situations and it was also probably the reason behind the negatives in other areas, like my relationship.  Once I found my balance and alignment the positive aspects of my relationship and other positives in my life began to return to me in full force. This was a signal to me that I was on to something!

I found myself going through little routines each day that brought me more happiness and joy and took my focus off the over-thinking and worry.  As the weeks went by I started to realize that a habit was being created and I was becoming much more self-aware.  I would catch myself reverting back to old patterns when I would be stressed or frustrated but I would quickly find a positive way to refocus.  Some days are easier than others but I don’t give up.  There are many tools and processes you can use to find your way into the vortex or get in alignment with source.  I like meditation, tapping, yoga, journaling, focus wheels, being thankful, and doing my best to focus on the positive in every moment.  Learning to let go and trust the process of asking, believing and receiving is much easier than we make it.  How are you holding yourself back?

With love, happiness, health and living in the moment,


Reconnecting With Love

The last couple of months have been full of emotion and lessons learned.  The amount of growth has been amazing and even a bit overwhelming at times.  Sometimes things happen that force us to reflect on where we come from, where we are, and where we want to be on a deeper level.   In the process of reflection we may find that where we are is a wonderful place to be and where we are going is full of amazing possibilities.  We tend to get caught up in the day to day grind of life with work, kids, family & friends.  If we don’t take time to stop and take it all in we may not realize certain important aspects. I have spent my life setting goals and trying to better myself.  I am constantly striving to be happy in every aspect of my life and sometimes that means hard work and sacrifice and making hard decisions.

A couple of months ago I made the hard decision to bring up my desires for the future of my relationship with the man I had been seeing for four years.  He did not respond in the most positive way and it left me with a broken heart.  However, in the days and weeks after a letter, text messages, and a conversation happened, there was much left to be reflected on.  We never know what another person is thinking or feeling in the moment that we allow ourselves to be completely vulnerable, but I took that chance anyway.  Over the next month I just tried to move on and do my best to heal.  However, little connections still occurred between us and there was obviously still love lingering between us.

There is a bitter-sweetness when you know you have loved someone fully and time is spent apart where you miss them and the thoughts of what could have been whirl in your mind.  To pray, meditate, allow yourself to fully visualize a life with a person that just simply makes your heart skip a beat every time you see them can be an emotional process.  Then one day the phone call comes…they ask how you are, they tell you they miss you, and you plan to meet…the conversation is simple and the chemistry is palpable.  The spark you thought had faded was really just needing a little stoking to reignite the fire.  Is it real or comfort?  Is it something deeper or just a sweet random moment?  Should we allow ourselves the opportunity to get excited and want more or are we setting ourselves up for disappointment and hurt all over again? Only time will tell….

With love, happiness, & health,