The Growth Project

This post is about the “Ah Ha!” moments in life and what we learn as we grow-up…I believe we are constantly striving to grow-up a little more every year, (or we should be).  Maybe “grow-up” is not the best choice of words, maybe, growing towards a better version of ourselves.  I would like to share a few of the valuable lessons in growth that I have learned.

I work a lot of hours in a week as well as spend a lot of my time studying on top of balancing time with family, friends, and the amazing man in my life.  This can be exhausting and I have learned the importance of “me time”. It took me some time to be okay with this, but it has been one of the most important lessons I have learned in life.  It is okay to push everything else aside every now and then and just do you. Be lazy, sleep in, make yourself a nice meal, read a book or watch a movie, take a long bath…do whatever you want to do and don’t feel guilty about it.  This quality time with myself has been the key to my sanity throughout the years.

The next valuable lesson I have learned in my growth experience is saying no.  Not just being able to tell people that you do not want to do something, but also not feeling guilty about it later.  I work hard and I take care of my responsibilities in life so when I have free time I really value that time.  Life is too short to commit to things you don’t really want to do.  Now, I understand that there are times you may not want to do something but the joy it brings to a person you care about may be worth it.  I have sucked it up a few times and done things that I may not have been thrilled to do just so I could see the smile on my daughters face or my boyfriends face.  Sometimes their smiles and happiness is totally worth it for me.  The truth is I would expect the same from them, be there for me when you can but don’t force it.  Be true to yourself and what makes you happy.  Which brings me to my next growth lesson.

Acceptance. Now this is something that I truly believe is one of the hardest lessons to learn, especially in romantic relationships.  Accepting yourself, others, and situations as they are without taking any of it personal. If someone tells you no because they do not want to do something you shouldn’t take it personal.  If someone decides they need “me time” and you don’t hear from them for a day, you should not take it personal.  When we are comfortable and content within ourselves then we are more accepting of others and their choices.  I have learned, when dating, if there are things I do not like about a man then it is not suddenly my goal to change him, but instead, an opportunity to ask myself, is this something I can accept?  If not, then I should probably move on.  Learning to accept life as it comes and people as they are is a real growing experience and it truly will make life so much easier.  Anyone who has ever tried to change someone knows that can be truly exhausting!  Once you stop struggling with what is and just accept it, then life just seems to flow much easier.

Staying focused and busy.  There is a phrase, “idle hands is the devils playground”.  I believe there is a lot of truth to this.  Have you ever noticed on the evenings that you are home alone and bored is when you text your man excessively?  I remember a time in my life that I felt that way and it drove me crazy.  I never want to be the person again. At this point in my life I have multiple jobs, full time college, a teenager and a home to take care of and a million other hobbies and interest to keep me busy throughout the day.  I make lists and schedules and constantly think of what projects or school work I could be working on. I have found that my constant on-the-go life is attractive to my boyfriend.  I think it is healthy for your significant other to know that your whole world does not revolve around them.  I think it is more flattering to a man if you simply choose to have them in your busy life because they bring something valuable to your world not the pressure of actually being your whole world. Women like that come off clingy and needy. I love my busy life and love that my man has a full and busy life as well. I believe it helps bring a true appreciation for each other when we do find time to be together.

The last, but certainly not least, big lesson I have learned over the years is the importance of putting a little time and effort into your physical appearance.  I already mentioned the “me time” and that is more about your mental & emotional well being, but the time you take to do a little yoga, floss and whiten your teeth, make a tan appointment, get yourself a manicure or pedicure, or just putting on that amazing face cream before bed each night….all VERY important as we grow older.  When I was younger I would go to bed with my makeup on, eat that extra slice of pizza, or skip a night of flossing and not think twice about it.  As I have gotten older I realize, eating right and having those routines will pay off big time.  Taking care of yourself and looking good builds self-esteem which affects every aspect of our lives!  We all know the most important relationship we will ever have is the one we have with ourselves.  So taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically is so very important.

Take time for yourself, do what brings you joy, accept life as it comes, stay focused on the goals that are important to you, and take time to really care for yourself. This will bring positive vibes your way and attract positive people and situations into your life.  At any time you start to feel the negativity of not enough time for yourself or the guilt of saying no, or trying to change someone or a situation, or not taking care of yourself…this negativity can lead to feeling a negative vibe and that will in turn attract more negative people and situation into your life.  Remind yourself of these lessons and allow them to help you stay focused on what is important to start on your path for personal growth.

Sincerely Yours for Better Health and Happiness,

Stacy

Law of Attraction

I am currently finishing my degree in psychology and working through a certification to be a small group leader for young women,as well as a life coach.  Last week I posted a six-part series called Just Ask It.  This series poses a lot of food for thought and I believe is a good starting point for people looking to re-evaluate their place in life.

So this week I am going to discuss the next big influence in my life, The Law of Attraction.  Books like The Secret and The Power, by Rhonda Byrne, are extremely motivational.  I have The Power as an audiobook and I listen to it at work on a regular basis.  The concept of the law of attraction is basically what we think, speak, and feel is what we will attract in to our lives.  It is vital that you be aware of what goes through your mind on a daily basis.  Sometimes the mind tends to focus on the negativity and can drag us down before we realize it.  There is power in positive thinking.

I highly recommend that everyone watch the movie The Secret and read both of the books, The Secret and The Power, by Rhonda Byrne.  The movie can be seen on Netflix.

I have used many of the tools mentioned, such as making a list of things I am grateful for when I am feeling depressed or frustrated, or creating a vision board to help visualize and make my goals seem more real.  Some people buy a poster board and cut out pictures of things they desire in life, like their dream house or a new car, and they glue these pictures onto the poster board.  However, with the convenience of social media, I prefer to create my vision board on Pinterest.  I just add my hopes, dreams, and desires to a specified board within Pinterest and review that board on a regular basis.  The more clearly you can visualize your goals and dreams the easier to believe and the key to attracting what you want is to believe it is already yours!

So once you complete the six-part series of Just Ask It, I recommend you watch The Secret and when you find time, get the audiobook The Power and listen to it when at work, driving in your car, or when you are doing things around the house.  Also, make that gratitude list a regular morning ritual! Start each day, as you get ready to start your day, listing off all the things you are grateful for in life…from running water to the car you drive each day. Then make time to do the fun project of creating a vision board, treat the world like the Sears Christmas catalogue and put everything you desire on that board! Don’t hold back!

I will be back next Sunday with a new week full of recommendations you can do to improve your life!

Here’s to your hopes, health, and happiness!

Sincerely,

Stacy

 

 

Just Ask It…

In light of my of my past experiences, current circumstances, future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for me to do?  

This question is probably one of the best questions a person can ask themselves.  Every day we are faced with choices in life, some harder than others.  Usually, when we end up making mistakes in life it is not something we planned to do but it is not something we planned to avoid either.  Usually, when we make mistakes, we also do not just make one bad choice either; it is usually a sequence of unwise choices that lead to that one big mistake.  One of the greatest video series I have seen, it poses this question and how it applies to life in so many different aspects.  This is probably one of the first steps in learning to better yourself, and your life, that I would suggest.  Watch this series and see how it applies to your life!  just ask it

Start with this 6 part series and then return for more suggestions on ways to  better your life. All questions and comments are welcome.

Life Unlimited

So this is day one and I am pretty stoked about starting this new adventure. I live a pretty awesome but very busy life. I currently have many changes going on and they seem to be happening very fast. I have had many positive events occur in my life over the past couple of years and I believe it has a lot to do with my attitude towards life. I can attribute these positive changes to the endless reading and research I have done, along with my life experiences, and how it has all come together in what I like to call my “little toolbox”.

I graduated high school and immediately started college.  Shortly after starting college I met a guy who rocked my world and gave me hope of leaving the small town I had spent the first twenty years of my life trapped in. After getting through college we married and I started my first big adventure of marriage and living out of my parents house for the first time ever! Within a couple of years we had a beautiful baby girl and life was full of stress and financial hardships. Sadly, after seven and a half years of marriage, we divorced. I dated and experienced true heart-break and betrayal in my life and with the support of friends I was able to recover and come out a better person.

My twenties were a big learning experiment and a lot of mistakes but my thirties seem to have been a decade of growth for me in every aspect of my life.  I have bought my own home while working sometimes as many as four jobs. I have raised my daughter to be a very responsible and capable young woman, who will be graduating high school in a couple of years.  Around the same time my daughter graduates high school I will be completing my degree in psychology. As my daughter leaves to start her adventures in her life as a young adult I will be staring a new decade in my life.

I will be forty this year and I have to say this is probably the happiest I have been in a very long time.  I look and feel great and I am excited about what my future has to offer.  I am ready for big changes in my life and great things are happening all around me.  I have managed to use what I have learned to buy a beautiful home that I have slowly begun to renovate. I have bought my own car and almost paid it off completely.  I have paid off all my credit card debt and I am able to take nice vacations for once in my life!

I have a great connection with who I am and where I am going in life and I want to share this with all of you!  Through my research, education, and life experience I have learned many valuable lessons and tools that I use on a daily basis to deal with everything that may come my way.  I share my wisdom with my daughter who is now light-years ahead of where I was at her age.  I see the positive changes my advice has made in her life as well as many of my friends and I would like to share my thoughts and ideas with you!

If you have struggles in your life and you feel like you don’t have someone you can turn to I can be that listening ear.  I love to help others and love to give advice.  I will make a post each week about something from my life that has helped me live life better.  I will recommend other blogs, youtube videos, books and ideas you can do at home to help improve all areas of your life each day! So lets explore together and let me guide you to live a life of unlimited happiness!

Sincerely,

With love, health, and happiness

Stacy:)